And now we savor… | Post #31

“How do you let joy in?” was a question a friend asked me after 2 hours of walking around Brooklyn during my recent visit back home after my trip to Belize. I fumbled over my words because it was surprising to be perceived as knowing the answer.

My cynical nature comes out a lot in my head which makes me forget that on the outside I do make an effort to fight through it by choosing positivity and being a generally happy person. It was a beautiful question to be left with as I came back home from vacation and have felt the happiest I think I ever have.

Because I'm experiencing the other side of my healing work after having allowed myself to sit in the depths of my emotions, now I reap the benefits with an even deeper relationship with my happiness. 

Just being back home, back to my grounding routine, back to taking things slowly, savoring my food and alone time, and getting excited about my dreams and goals after a refreshing vacation and consistent shadow work has set me off into a high.

I'm jumping headfirst into the dancer life I've always dreamed of which has only added to my joy. I'm talking about the type of joy where I'm dancing while walking home after a late night pole dancing class. I'm talking about having a big smile on my face listening to Afro beats in my sun filled living room. I’m walking about letting my pride and insecurities run its mouth without it phasing me as much. 

I’m unbothered because I’ve cleared out the mess my ego created to remember that most things shouldn’t be taken personally. 

I'm back to remembering who I am and what I'm here for thanks to savoring a life that is meant to always change.

I'm budding with energy for the new spaces and opportunities I'll be in that’ll launch me even more into the bold person I've always been but suppressed. I'm so excited for the big goals I have when it comes to dance and the spaces I want to build. I'm ready to step away from the comfort of a shadow artist to an actual artist. 

There's a reason why I'm attracted to artists. Because I myself am called to be an artist and I don’t have any more energy to suppress that urge. Gone are the days of only praising other artists when I can prioritize praising myself. 

Remembering who I am— especially the parts of myself that I tuck away out of fear— and that I will always magnetize abundance if I follow my desires/urges and bring people with me along the way is what helps me step into my joy.  

 Some joyful things coming into my life:

• A propagation exchange/early birthday I’m hosting in my home 

• Traveling to México City mid-September

• Learning how to make a zine 

• A birthday photoshoot

• Taking more house dance, popping/waving, and choreo classes

• Starting 12 weeks of working on The Artist’s Way with a friend 

---

*Thanks for reading! I’ll try to have my next post be on my trip to Belize!*

If you like my posts, you can buy me a cup of coffee or tea as a big thank you!  

---

SENSORY SAFETY

• The song(s)/artist I’ve replayed the past week to calm me down

“Past Life” by Tame Impala. Something about me, is I’m gonna be 10 years late to an album and pretend like I’ve discovered a new artist 😅

• The media I watched the past week to calm me down

No shows, but I sped through reading The Creative Act: A Way of Being and it’s life changing. I recommend for anyone feeling stuck in their creative practice

• The activity I did the past week to calm me down

Reading my affirmations while sitting on my balcony every morning while listening to the water cascade down the apartment complex fountain across from me

Remember, we’re all dots in a never ending spiral. We’ll be alright. Keep living slowly, creatively, seductively, and playfully.

Follow my movement practice - @squishy_poler